


Operation PAW: Payback's A Witch

by reinadefuego



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Ficlet, Gen, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:12:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9672323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinadefuego/pseuds/reinadefuego
Summary: In her thirty nine years at Hogwarts, Minerva has learned a few things about managing her mischievous side.





	

In her nearly thirty nine year long career at Hogwarts, Minerva had dealt with her fair share of students. Most of whom she'd liked, but there had been, unfortunately, a small minority of students and teachers with whom she could never make peace with. In her younger days, she would have dealt with them rather stealthily: leaving presents under their beds and making certain they realised exactly what they'd done wrong. Unfortunately, Albus had eventually caught wind of what she was doing and proceeded to tell her just how in doing so, she was breaking the rules as well.

Ha!

Most people would not believe that at thirteen years old, Minerva McGonagall had been quite the troublemaker. She'd always had ulterior motives, never trusting the teachers let alone other students. As she'd grown, she'd mellowed. Minerva had eased off the pranks, eased off teaching certain students lessons, and eventually she'd moved her sights to her fellow staffers at Hogwarts.

The occasional claw mark where they wouldn't notice unless they looked. A few strands of fur gently spat into someone's tea. The occasional furball hacked up into a certain Potions Master's delicates drawer. She kept up the torment, never making it clear it was her, though the smile on her face when she was called to Dumbledore's Office was always a dead giveaway as to whom exactly had caused the trouble.

It was in Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts when Dolores Umbridge became Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher that Minerva's schemes soared to new heights. After Dolores had so rudely questioned her during her Transfiguration class, Minerva had paid back the favour. At the stroke of midnight, she would creep into Umbridge's office just yards from Dolores' bed and as mother cats did, call to the kittens in the plates.

As kittens did, they responded. They called back, and Minerva did the same. Every night at midnight for two whole weeks, the kittens' cries becoming louder until they crescendoed when Umbridge would come storming out of her room and cast a Silencio charm on the wall of plates. Unfortunately, there was always that one kitten that never quite seemed to stop yeowling. Hidden beneath Potter's invisibility cloak which Crookshanks so kindly loaned her, Minerva would yeowl until dawn, allowing Umbridge little sleep.

After the two weeks, the cats suddenly stopped meowing at midnight.

If it had been up to Minerva, she would have gone for the two months as they'd planned and driven Umbridge to insanity. Some nights, Minerva would revert to human form, reverse the Silencio charm and allow the kittens meowing to be heard once more.

Oh yes, _they'd_ planned it.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, O.M (First Class), had been in on the prank. It had never been Albus' intention to drive Dolores to insanity, but rather to push the woman to her limits and hopefully drive her out of Hogwarts. Unfortunately with the Ministry looming over the school, Albus had held back.

Albus had never truly become adverse to pranks, he just knew the right times and locations to pull them off. As a true Master of Deception, Minerva would sometimes let herself into Albus' office, stretch out on his desk and proceed to chew on one of his many quills. Occasionally, cat fur would be caught in the pages of some rather rare and priceless books. Other times, his desk would _mysteriously_ collapse the minute he touched it, only to find it hours later put back together.

Severus Snape, however, was a different book entirely. She'd never been too harsh with him, knowing the torment that the Marauders had put him through as a boy, but she'd still made sure Severus knew his place too in the Hogwarts heirarchy.

Snape would occasionally find specific potion ingredients he needed for classes that day missing, or not where he left them. Other times, she'd move every piece of furniture from his classroom out to the Quidditch Pitch in the middle of the night and leave them there, waiting for him to step out of his room and discover an empty classroom void of every desk, chair and cauldron — including his.

But now, Minerva was sprawled out on Dumbledore's desk, chewing contentedly on a quill as she waited for the wizard to return. She'd turned the Sorting Hat upside down and inside out, and charmed the furniture in Albus' room so it now looked as if someone had turned the entire room on its head.

Footsteps echoed as the old Headmaster ascended the stairs, coming into his office to find — not surprisingly — Minerva swishing her tail back and forth. His half-moon glasses rested on his nose, Minerva rolling onto her back and exposing her belly as she watched him approach. A sly cheshire smile warmed her usually stern face as he approached, sitting down on his chair.

"What _have_ you been up to, Minerva?" Albus said, resting his head on his hand and leaning on the desk. "Well? You'd better start talking."

She snorted, rolling back onto her belly and standing up, moving to sit in front of him. She gave that slow blink cats gave their friends and acquaintances, then yawned as if bored by the idea of conversation.

"Minerva," Albus said, a tone of warning in his voice.

Something in the air tickled her nose and a moment later, McGonagall sneezed in Albus' face. The Headmaster blinked, retrieved his handkerchief and wiped his face clean as he studied her.

"Don't tell me you had kittens."


End file.
